| Articles and books that promise a formula for | | | | achievement or felt extremely fulfilled. |
| success drive me crazy! Personal success is | | | | Write down every remembered detail: the |
| the intersection of an individual's life | | | | situation, who you were with, what you wore, |
| values, passions, and material goals. Just as | | | | and the smells and sounds of your |
| no two human's life experiences are exactly | | | | surroundings. Relive the experience in your |
| identical, no two definitions of success can | | | | mind. What does your satisfaction feel like? |
| truly be the same. | | | | Are there common threads in what you |
| | | | experienced and how you felt? |
| Yet the word success is constantly bantered | | | | |
| in our society and we discuss it like we know | | | | How do you feel when you've achieved |
| what it means. Someone says, "He is so | | | | something meaningful? Let those feelings |
| successful!" and you might agree as long as | | | | guide your future activities. |
| he has money and power or extraordinary | | | | |
| altruism that match society's standards for | | | | 2) Boil it Down. Steve, a dear friend of |
| the word. But what do you know of his real | | | | mine, fondly recalls a sign hanging in a |
| success - that of his own standards? How | | | | Vermont country store. It says, "Sleep, Eat, |
| successful does that man feel if he has | | | | Ski, Hike, Fish" and embodies to him a fun |
| destroyed his marriage, lost time with his | | | | and fulfilling existence. Day to day, he |
| child, put aside a artistic passion, or felt | | | | works his 9-5 job in Washington, DC but still |
| extreme loneliness on his way to achievement. | | | | retains the five word mantra to remind him of |
| | | | his true passions and goals. For him, |
| Recently, when I asked clients their | | | | successful living is embodied in that sign: |
| definition of success several told me that | | | | in those 5 words and the context of Vermont |
| they needed to ditch the word itself. What a | | | | country life. |
| step in the right direction! For one the new | | | | |
| word was "achievement," for another the | | | | Can you boil your idea of success and |
| phrase "being real" summed it up. In one | | | | fulfillment into five words? What metaphor or |
| case, my ambitious, and (by conventional | | | | symbol embodies your ideal life? |
| standards) very successful friend used one | | | | |
| definition for success as society would | | | | 3) Expand the Context. Sometimes defining |
| define it and then, admitting the description | | | | success is overwhelming because it seems to |
| left her cold, blurted a second definition | | | | require you to nail down ideas of lifetime |
| for "meaningful existence" which she finds | | | | achievement. While that is part of it, |
| much more motivating. | | | | applying a single idea of success to all the |
| | | | situations and times in life is far too |
| While, in my mind, it isn't possible to give | | | | limiting. The terms of success must change as |
| someone a formula for becoming successful, | | | | the context changes, and you are likely to |
| one powerful step toward defining and | | | | have many different definitions. Keep your |
| processing success in your own unique way is | | | | overarching goals in sight but also focus on |
| to shed that useless word! | | | | day-to- day events to weave your personal |
| | | | view of success into the process of life. |
| Here are three ways to start defining success | | | | |
| in your own terms: | | | | How do you think about fulfillment in the |
| | | | different contexts of your life? What makes |
| 1) Feel It. How do you feel when you achieve | | | | this one moment meaningful? What is |
| personal success? Identify at least 7 times | | | | achievement for you in this one hour, one |
| in your life when you were very proud of your | | | | month, one job or one relationship? |