| Articles and books that promise a formula for | | | | felt extremely fulfilled. Write down every |
| success drive me crazy! Personal success is the | | | | remembered detail: the situation, who you were with, |
| intersection of an individual's life values, passions, and | | | | what you wore, and the smells and sounds of your |
| material goals. Just as no two human's life | | | | surroundings. Relive the experience in your mind. |
| experiences are exactly identical, no two definitions | | | | What does your satisfaction feel like? Are there |
| of success can truly be the same. | | | | common threads in what you experienced and how |
| Yet the word success is constantly bantered in our | | | | you felt? |
| society and we discuss it like we know what it | | | | How do you feel when you've achieved something |
| means. Someone says, "He is so successful!" and you | | | | meaningful? Let those feelings guide your future |
| might agree as long as he has money and power or | | | | activities. |
| extraordinary altruism that match society's standards | | | | 2) Boil it Down. Steve, a dear friend of mine, fondly |
| for the word. But what do you know of his real | | | | recalls a sign hanging in a Vermont country store. It |
| success - that of his own standards? How successful | | | | says, "Sleep, Eat, Ski, Hike, Fish" and embodies to him |
| does that man feel if he has destroyed his marriage, | | | | a fun and fulfilling existence. Day to day, he works his |
| lost time with his child, put aside a artistic passion, or | | | | 9-5 job in Washington, DC but still retains the five |
| felt extreme loneliness on his way to achievement. | | | | word mantra to remind him of his true passions and |
| Recently, when I asked clients their definition of | | | | goals. For him, successful living is embodied in that |
| success several told me that they needed to ditch | | | | sign: in those 5 words and the context of Vermont |
| the word itself. What a step in the right direction! For | | | | country life. |
| one the new word was "achievement," for another | | | | Can you boil your idea of success and fulfillment into |
| the phrase "being real" summed it up. In one case, | | | | five words? What metaphor or symbol embodies |
| my ambitious, and (by conventional standards) very | | | | your ideal life? |
| successful friend used one definition for success as | | | | 3) Expand the Context. Sometimes defining success |
| society would define it and then, admitting the | | | | is overwhelming because it seems to require you to |
| description left her cold, blurted a second definition | | | | nail down ideas of lifetime achievement. While that is |
| for "meaningful existence" which she finds much | | | | part of it, applying a single idea of success to all the |
| more motivating. | | | | situations and times in life is far too limiting. The |
| While, in my mind, it isn't possible to give someone a | | | | terms of success must change as the context |
| formula for becoming successful, one powerful step | | | | changes, and you are likely to have many different |
| toward defining and processing success in your own | | | | definitions. Keep your overarching goals in sight but |
| unique way is to shed that useless word! | | | | also focus on day-to- day events to weave your |
| Here are three ways to start defining success in your | | | | personal view of success into the process of life. |
| own terms: | | | | How do you think about fulfillment in the different |
| 1) Feel It. How do you feel when you achieve | | | | contexts of your life? What makes this one moment |
| personal success? Identify at least 7 times in your life | | | | meaningful? What is achievement for you in this one |
| when you were very proud of your achievement or | | | | hour, one month, one job or one relationship? |